Evil Monkeys From Penang

2011 © Sandra Ramos

“We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.” ~ Stephen Hawking

Journal, 16 December 2011. Pulau Penang, Malaysia.


After lunch, Laurens, Sandra, Agnes and myself paid a visit to Penang Hill.

Cable car upwards, nice view of the island, walked back down. Only five kilometers downhill but not an easy track if you’re wearing sandles – the road is too steep, it took us at least an hour.

Half-way down the road we found a monkey. A normal monkey, just sitting on the railing, minding his own business. I like monkeys.

My mind occasionally likes to get me into trouble, so it probably thought that this would be a great time to remind me I was hungry again and that I had some bananas in my backpack.

This was not my most brilliant moment. Making a short story even shorter, this is what followed…

1. Monkey fixes his gaze on me and my bananas.

2. I notice it and start walking away from the monkey.

3. Monkey starts running towards me.

4. I throw the monkey a banana and start walking a lot faster.

5. Monkey stops, peels banana, stuffs it into his mouth and continues running after me with a bulging cheek and a ravenous look.

6. I throw the entire banana bunch at him and start running down the hill.

7. Monkey stops, sits down and enjoys bananas while keeping an eye on me – just in case I have some more bananas.

So pretty much I got hussled by a monkey over my bananas, and I’m still hungry.

Continuing the track down, I’d swear the news spread out really fast and that the other monkeys we met along the way were laughing specifically at me.

I don’t like monkeys anymore.


• Really good frickin’ sandles.

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