Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

© 2010 Luis Marques

“So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don’t sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.” ~ Lee Iacocca

Journal, 25 October 2011. Setúbal, Portugal.

WAKE UP CALL.

Today I suddenly woke up at 6am and realised I’m actually scared shitless about going travelling solo in Southeast Asia.

And then I fell asleep again.

LAST MINUTE RESISTANCE.

The morning passed by quite slowly.

I woke up again around 7am. Did some asanas to stretch. Took Koby out for a walk and joined Dad for breakfast at the café before he left for work.

Home. Shower. Meditation. Mom and I took Koby to the vet for his shots.

Home again. Checked the CS groups. Some girl from Brussels is in Lisbon on holidays, looking for people to show her around the city. I’ll try to arrange a coffee and a tour with her maybe this Thursday or Friday.

Had lunch. Finally finished my CV and One-Page, uploaded them to my site and updated my LinkedIn profile. Did some more asanas.

And then I finally started researching for flights.

The rest of the day flew by so fast I didn’t even noticed it.

TWENTY SIX LETTERS.

The plan was originally to visit Middle East for a few months, come home for Christmas and then leave again to explore Southeast Asia.

Plan A was dismissed even before I left London. Egypt was experiencing uprisings and public riots, and a friend of mine who has family in Cairo told me not to bother going there for at least the next 2-3 months. Israel keeps isolating themselves politically and rockets are still being fired in Gaza. And Jordan, well…

Middle East is close enough to home (London? Portugal?) for me to visit it at some other stage of my life, so not much worries there.

Plan B was to forget Christmas in Portugal and just leave straight to Bangkok and then explore the north of Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, etc.

This plan was also dismissed sometime last week. Bangkok got flooded, big time. Apparently there are even crocodiles loose around the city… how crazy is that?

By the time I actually make it there, chances are everything is back to normal, but logistically it would be wise to find another starting point for this expedition.

Enter Plan C. Singapore. Probably the cleanest, most westernised country around those parts. The perfect cushion for my landing.

So Singapore, then Malaysia and Thailand, and pretty much figure out the rest as I go along. There’s only so much I can anticipate at this moment. Too many things about this trip seem to be out of my control, better start getting used to the idea.

RESOLUTION.

Found some flights. Prices not too cheap, but not too expensive either, everything considered. Must go to London, then get another flight to Singapore via Kuala Lumpur. (I wonder if Coop can host me for a night in London?)

Past midnight already. I get my credit card to buy the tickets. Need my passport details to complete the booking.

Can’t find my passport. Where’s my passport?

Ah. Right. Old passport expired, new passport ready tomorrow, need to go pick it up in the morning… Booking adjourned until tomorrow.

Almost 1am when I make it to bed. Restless, but I finally got some stuff done today… Uff.

GRATITUDE.

• Family.
• Portuguese food. Family meals. Saturday lunches. Cappuccinos at Grandma’s. One month in Setúbal and I got my cheeks back :)
• You can live in fear, or you can live with fear… Really happy I’m moving forward with the World Tour project.

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